He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
