Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
