The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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