"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
