there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
