Tell her she can't have a vagina
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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