just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
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In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
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he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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