24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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