this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
