the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
