8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
