Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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