when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
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