one word: firstdatebathroomanal
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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