I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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