His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
