I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Randomize
