The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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