we're blogging at a bar
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
