They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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