I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
