i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My vagina is officially offended.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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