you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
