she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
