it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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