My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I got her a Nickelback box set.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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