Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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