Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
