i think i have two assholes
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
