Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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