If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
