Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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