At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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