she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize