I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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