We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize