So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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