Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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