I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
