Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
