Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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