we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
