She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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