No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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