I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize