I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
