She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
