I'm really into asian looking animals
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
