Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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