you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
