You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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