So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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