theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
