NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I don't think brook has ever known best
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
