you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
