That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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