Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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