Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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